How to write your first message to a language exchange partner

A good first message to a language exchange partner is short and specific: say hello, say which languages you'd swap and roughly how well you speak, mention one thing from their profile, and finish with a question that's easy to answer. Four ingredients, three to five sentences. That beats a bare "hi" and a wall of text every time.

Below you'll find a checklist, copyable examples in English, Spanish, German and Japanese, and the things that quietly get messages ignored.

What should a first language exchange message include?

1. A greeting and your name. Use their name if their profile shows it.
2. The swap. Which language you speak and which you're learning, with a rough level. CEFR levels are handy shorthand: A2 means you can manage simple, routine exchanges about familiar things, B1 that you can describe experiences and give brief reasons for your opinions.
3. One specific detail. Something from their profile: a hobby, their city, a film they like. It proves you're not sending the same message to fifty people.
4. An easy question. One they can answer in a sentence. "What's your favourite hike near Valencia?" is easier to reply to than "Tell me about yourself".

Optional, and useful: how you'd like corrections ("please correct anything, I don't mind") and how often you're around ("I'm usually online in the evenings, UK time").

First message examples you can adapt

Swap in your own details. The specific detail is the part that matters most, so don't skip it.

A simple, all-purpose opener

Hi Marta! I'm Sam, from Leeds. I speak English and I'm learning Spanish (around B1). I saw you're into hiking. Do you have a favourite route near Valencia? Happy to swap: some Spanish, some English, and we correct each other.

If you're a beginner

Hi Kenji, I'm Priya from Toronto. I'm just starting Japanese (A1, so please be patient!) and I'd be glad to help with your English. Your profile says you like baseball. Which team do you support?

If you share a specific interest

Hey Lukas, fellow sourdough obsessive here. I'm Ana, a Portuguese speaker learning German (A2). I'd love to hear what bread people actually eat in Munich, and I can help with Portuguese or English in return.

Replying to someone who wrote to you first

Hi Jonas, thanks for the message! Yes, I'd like to practise. I'm free most evenings. Shall we start in German today and switch to English tomorrow?

First message examples in Spanish, German and Japanese

Writing a line or two in your partner's language is a friendly gesture. These are pitched at a learner's level on purpose.

Spanish

¡Hola, Marta! Soy Sam, de Leeds. Hablo inglés y estoy aprendiendo español (nivel B1). ¿Te gustaría hacer un intercambio? Vi que te gusta el senderismo. ¿Tienes alguna ruta favorita?

Hi Marta! I'm Sam, from Leeds. I speak English and I'm learning Spanish (B1). Would you like to do an exchange? I saw you like hiking. Do you have a favourite route?

More on Spanish in how to practise Spanish with native speakers.

German

Hallo Jonas! Ich bin Sam aus Leeds. Ich spreche Englisch und lerne Deutsch (Niveau A2). Hast du Lust auf einen Sprachaustausch? Ich habe gesehen, dass du gern kochst. Was ist dein Lieblingsgericht?

Hi Jonas! I'm Sam from Leeds. I speak English and I'm learning German (A2). Do you fancy a language exchange? I saw that you like cooking. What's your favourite dish?

This uses du, which suits a casual first message between adults. More on that choice in how to practise German with native speakers.

Japanese

はじめまして、サムです。イギリスのリーズに住んでいます。日本語を勉強しています（まだ初級です）。英語なら手伝えます。料理が好きだと書いてありましたね。得意な料理は何ですか。よろしくお願いします。

Hajimemashite, Samu desu. Igirisu no Rīzu ni sunde imasu. Nihongo o benkyō shite imasu (mada shokyū desu). Eigo nara tetsudaemasu. Ryōri ga suki da to kaite arimashita ne. Tokui na ryōri wa nan desu ka? Yoroshiku onegaishimasu.

Nice to meet you, I'm Sam. I live in Leeds, in the UK. I'm studying Japanese (still a beginner). I can help with English. Your profile says you like cooking. What's your best dish? Looking forward to chatting.

It uses the polite desu/masu style, a safe choice with someone new. More in how to practise Japanese with native speakers.

What to leave out of a first message

Most unanswered messages aren't rude. They're just easy to skip. Avoid these:

• Just "hi". It hands all the work to the other person.
• Compliments on how someone looks. You're here for the language. Comments on appearance read as a different kind of message, and they're a quick way to get blocked.
• The same message to everyone. People can tell, and it shows.
• Your whole biography. Three to five sentences. The rest can wait.
• Asking for their number, email or social handle. Stay in the app until you've actually talked. It protects you both, and anyone pushing hard to move elsewhere straight away is worth a second look.
• Money, investments or favours. Never in a first message, and never later either. The US Federal Trade Commission's advice on romance scams is simple: never send money or gifts to someone you haven't met in person.

For more on spotting trouble, read staying safe in online language exchanges.

Read their profile before you write

A profile tells you more than a name and a country. On Talkabout, check:

• Their mood. Someone on "Here to practise" wants to practise. Someone on "Busy, slow replies" will answer, just not tonight.
• How much they want correcting. Some people want every slip fixed, others only the big ones. If you're not sure, ask in your first message.
• Their languages and levels. Pitch your message so they can read it without a dictionary.

Talkabout also keeps links, contact details and images locked until you've talked for a while, so a first message is words only. That's a good thing: it keeps the focus on the conversation.

If they don't reply

Give it a few days. People have jobs, exams and time zones. One friendly nudge is fine ("No worries if you're busy, the offer stands!"). After that, let it go and write to someone else. Silence is rarely about you.

Once a chat does get going, how to keep a language exchange going helps you turn one good conversation into a habit. Still looking for someone to write to? Try how to find a language exchange partner.

FAQ

What should I say in my first language exchange message?

Say hello, give your name, the language you speak and the one you are learning with your rough level, mention one thing from their profile, and end with an easy question. That is enough for them to decide whether to reply.

How long should a first language exchange message be?

Three to five sentences. Long enough to show you read their profile, short enough to read in a few seconds. Save your life story for the second or third message.

Should I write my first message in the language I am learning?

A line or two in your target language is a nice touch, but keep the important parts clear. If you are a beginner, write mostly in a language you both understand and add one sentence in theirs.

What should I do if a language exchange partner doesn't reply?

Wait a few days, then send one short, friendly follow-up at most. If there is still no answer, let it go and write to someone else. People get busy, and silence is rarely personal.

Start practising

Write it, reread it once, send it. The perfect opener doesn't exist, but a specific one comes close. Pick a pair on the Spanish, German or Japanese pages, or sign up free and press "Say hi". Talkabout is free, runs in the browser and is for adults only.